It's not time that is passing by.....

I am usually surprised when people say, ‘I have no regrets in life.’ Come on, I think, I can’t be the only one whose life seems so full of regrets. Hopefully not major ones, but minor ones - sure, doesn’t everyone have those regrets? Of not being as good as you’d like at music, sports and arts; of being unable to prioritize what really mattered when it mattered; of getting into bad relationships; of making wrong career choices etc. etc. The magic, I think, is in accepting that it is OK to have regrets; it is OK to feel lonely; it is OK to feel depressed at times- as long as you feel you are leading a happy, productive life overall. I think these experiences of pain and conflict make you a richer, deeper person; and sadness gives an interesting, intelligent dimension to your life.

I recall reading Arundhati Roy’s ‘God of Small Things’

‘If you're happy in a dream, Ammu, does that count?’ Estha asked.

‘Does what count?’

‘The happiness - does it count?’

Wow man- what sadness! Even for born cynics like me, it struck a chord. You are really starved for happiness when you have to search for it in your dreams. Or Ruskin Bond’s wonderful: ‘It’s not time that is passing by-it’s you and I.’

Someday!! MAYBE!!!

What does a jobless retard do in depression???
Write depressing thoughts I guess!!! And get more depressed......
WTF

We haven't met yet
but we'll meet one day
the mere hope makes me to live
the mere hope gives me life
i am like a seed
and you are a flower
haven't met for the centuries past
but our love makes us to believe
for each time i disintegrate for you
you die to produce me
have been givin our lives for each other
but we havent met yet
maybe because we are not destined to meet
if so i am living to change the destiny
i am living beacause you're the reason of my birth
we'll continue to live till we meet
maybe not in this world
but in some other we're destined to meet
i'll meet you there one day

“I feel good for you”

“I feel good for you”

How often do we say this and how often do we mean this?

Well!! I say it way too often but I don’t want to tell how often I feel it. I never actually gave it a thought as I was way too afraid that I might start hating myself. So whenever the question pops up in my mind I start thinking about some other things :). But today a rather strange thing happened. I didn’t say it but I think, I repeat, I think I felt it. Well however bad the consequences are, I can’t resist but ponder over what happened.

Well! The story begins about 15 years back. I was a kid and my brother was in high school and he used to have this biggest group of such gregarious friends that always made me jealous. I obviously was without ANY friends. So I tried to mix with their group and in doing so, proved to be their party spoiler!!! No teenage group wants a kid in their group!! And there was one guy in the group who always wanted me to be kept at bay from the group and that’s where my hatred begun. I truly despised that guy.

Later on, this guy goes into business with my brother but I always had my childhood prejudices and I am not quite sure what I felt about this guy. Anyways, my brother and his frequencies did not match and he left his business. And as told by my brother, he cheated big time on him. This fueled all the childhood hatred and I, well, I started hating that guy again but I was aware that his condition was somewhat miserable if I should say as he had nothing to do now (at least I thought so). But today I just went to meet this guy in his office because my mother told me to take some stuff from his place :(, I saw that his business is burgeoning like anything!!! That was when I felt this stupid thing inside me. I don’t know what caused it. Maybe the sympathy that I carried for him when he was left stranded by my brother, maybe I am a true Gandhi and wish well for all my fellow humans (don’t draw conclusions, I agree with you over this; am just trying to mention all the possibilities :P), maybe I was attracted by what he has right now and felt good because I could always turn myself to someone whom I know and might help me out!!! Options start getting more and more dirty afterwards so it’s better if I don’t mention them.

मज़ा ही कुछ और है

दाँतों से नाख़ून काटने का,

छोटों को ज़बरदस्ती डाँटने का,

पैसे वालों को गाली बकने का,

मूँगफली के ठेले से मूँगफली चखने का,

कुर्सी पर बैठ कर कान में पेन डालने का,

डीटीसी की बस की सीट में से स्पंज निकालने का

मज़ा ही कुछ और है |

एक ही खूँटी पर ढ़ेर सारे कपड़े डालने का,

नये साल पे दुकानदार से कलेंडर माँगने का,

चलती रेल में चढ़ने का,

दूसरों की चिट्ठी पढ़ने का,

माँगे हुए स्कूटर को तेज़ भगाने का,

खुद को नींद नहीं आने पर पत्नी को जगाने का,

मज़ा ही कुछ और है |

चोरी से फल को तोड़ने का,

खराब ट्यूबलाइट और मटकों को फोड़ने का,

पड़ोसन को घूर घूर के देखने का,

अपना कचरा दूसरों के सामने फेंकने का,

बाथरूम में बेसुरा गाने का,

थूक से टिकट चिपकाने का,

मज़ा ही कुछ और है |

ऑफीस में लेट आने का,

फाइल को ज़बरदस्ती दबाने का,

चाट वाले से फ़ोकट की चटनी डलवाने का,

बारात में प्रेस किए हुए कपड़ों को फिर से प्रेस कराने का,

ससुराल में साले से पान मंगाने का,

साली की पीठ पर धोल जमाने का,

मज़ा ही कुछ और है |

आरती में सबसे ज़्यादा फटा हुआ नोट चढ़ने का,

दूसरे के मोबाइल फोन से चिपकने का,

पान गुटकों को इधर उधर पिचकने का,

कमजोरों से बेमतलब लड़ने का,

पत्नी को रोज रोज परेशन करने का,

मज़ा ही कुछ और है |

More of my Photographs. From NIT Rourkela!! :)

My Photography!!

These may not be the best. I'll need a better camera for that cuz the cameraman is perfect, only defect can be in camera :)

किसलिए????

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