“I feel good for you”

“I feel good for you”

How often do we say this and how often do we mean this?

Well!! I say it way too often but I don’t want to tell how often I feel it. I never actually gave it a thought as I was way too afraid that I might start hating myself. So whenever the question pops up in my mind I start thinking about some other things :). But today a rather strange thing happened. I didn’t say it but I think, I repeat, I think I felt it. Well however bad the consequences are, I can’t resist but ponder over what happened.

Well! The story begins about 15 years back. I was a kid and my brother was in high school and he used to have this biggest group of such gregarious friends that always made me jealous. I obviously was without ANY friends. So I tried to mix with their group and in doing so, proved to be their party spoiler!!! No teenage group wants a kid in their group!! And there was one guy in the group who always wanted me to be kept at bay from the group and that’s where my hatred begun. I truly despised that guy.

Later on, this guy goes into business with my brother but I always had my childhood prejudices and I am not quite sure what I felt about this guy. Anyways, my brother and his frequencies did not match and he left his business. And as told by my brother, he cheated big time on him. This fueled all the childhood hatred and I, well, I started hating that guy again but I was aware that his condition was somewhat miserable if I should say as he had nothing to do now (at least I thought so). But today I just went to meet this guy in his office because my mother told me to take some stuff from his place :(, I saw that his business is burgeoning like anything!!! That was when I felt this stupid thing inside me. I don’t know what caused it. Maybe the sympathy that I carried for him when he was left stranded by my brother, maybe I am a true Gandhi and wish well for all my fellow humans (don’t draw conclusions, I agree with you over this; am just trying to mention all the possibilities :P), maybe I was attracted by what he has right now and felt good because I could always turn myself to someone whom I know and might help me out!!! Options start getting more and more dirty afterwards so it’s better if I don’t mention them.