“I feel good for you”

“I feel good for you”

How often do we say this and how often do we mean this?

Well!! I say it way too often but I don’t want to tell how often I feel it. I never actually gave it a thought as I was way too afraid that I might start hating myself. So whenever the question pops up in my mind I start thinking about some other things :). But today a rather strange thing happened. I didn’t say it but I think, I repeat, I think I felt it. Well however bad the consequences are, I can’t resist but ponder over what happened.

Well! The story begins about 15 years back. I was a kid and my brother was in high school and he used to have this biggest group of such gregarious friends that always made me jealous. I obviously was without ANY friends. So I tried to mix with their group and in doing so, proved to be their party spoiler!!! No teenage group wants a kid in their group!! And there was one guy in the group who always wanted me to be kept at bay from the group and that’s where my hatred begun. I truly despised that guy.

Later on, this guy goes into business with my brother but I always had my childhood prejudices and I am not quite sure what I felt about this guy. Anyways, my brother and his frequencies did not match and he left his business. And as told by my brother, he cheated big time on him. This fueled all the childhood hatred and I, well, I started hating that guy again but I was aware that his condition was somewhat miserable if I should say as he had nothing to do now (at least I thought so). But today I just went to meet this guy in his office because my mother told me to take some stuff from his place :(, I saw that his business is burgeoning like anything!!! That was when I felt this stupid thing inside me. I don’t know what caused it. Maybe the sympathy that I carried for him when he was left stranded by my brother, maybe I am a true Gandhi and wish well for all my fellow humans (don’t draw conclusions, I agree with you over this; am just trying to mention all the possibilities :P), maybe I was attracted by what he has right now and felt good because I could always turn myself to someone whom I know and might help me out!!! Options start getting more and more dirty afterwards so it’s better if I don’t mention them.

मज़ा ही कुछ और है

दाँतों से नाख़ून काटने का,

छोटों को ज़बरदस्ती डाँटने का,

पैसे वालों को गाली बकने का,

मूँगफली के ठेले से मूँगफली चखने का,

कुर्सी पर बैठ कर कान में पेन डालने का,

डीटीसी की बस की सीट में से स्पंज निकालने का

मज़ा ही कुछ और है |

एक ही खूँटी पर ढ़ेर सारे कपड़े डालने का,

नये साल पे दुकानदार से कलेंडर माँगने का,

चलती रेल में चढ़ने का,

दूसरों की चिट्ठी पढ़ने का,

माँगे हुए स्कूटर को तेज़ भगाने का,

खुद को नींद नहीं आने पर पत्नी को जगाने का,

मज़ा ही कुछ और है |

चोरी से फल को तोड़ने का,

खराब ट्यूबलाइट और मटकों को फोड़ने का,

पड़ोसन को घूर घूर के देखने का,

अपना कचरा दूसरों के सामने फेंकने का,

बाथरूम में बेसुरा गाने का,

थूक से टिकट चिपकाने का,

मज़ा ही कुछ और है |

ऑफीस में लेट आने का,

फाइल को ज़बरदस्ती दबाने का,

चाट वाले से फ़ोकट की चटनी डलवाने का,

बारात में प्रेस किए हुए कपड़ों को फिर से प्रेस कराने का,

ससुराल में साले से पान मंगाने का,

साली की पीठ पर धोल जमाने का,

मज़ा ही कुछ और है |

आरती में सबसे ज़्यादा फटा हुआ नोट चढ़ने का,

दूसरे के मोबाइल फोन से चिपकने का,

पान गुटकों को इधर उधर पिचकने का,

कमजोरों से बेमतलब लड़ने का,

पत्नी को रोज रोज परेशन करने का,

मज़ा ही कुछ और है |

More of my Photographs. From NIT Rourkela!! :)

My Photography!!

These may not be the best. I'll need a better camera for that cuz the cameraman is perfect, only defect can be in camera :)

किसलिए????

तेरी उम्मीद की हर आस मिट गई है
फिर दिल तेरा इंतज़ार करे किसलिए?

तेरी ओर जाने वाली हर राह गुम हो गई है
फिर हर राह की मजिल तेरा घर किसलिए?

जब ज़िन्दगी में छाया है घनघोर अँधेरा
फिर तेरी यादों के दिए किसलिए?

जब हर रहगुज़र खडा है नश्तर लिए हुए
हम अपना दिल दिखाएँ किसलिए?

ज़िन्दगी यूँ तो कट ही रही है मगर
फिर भी तेरे मिलने की आस है किसलिए?

Courage

Courage is what matters the most, courage may not the one that counts the most though. You'll have to make your courage count, you'll have to have courage to make that count otherwise you may be happy but those around you'll suffer terribly. Make your courage count.

I hope I had the courage to do what I want!!!! L

Kashmir……

OK… This is the closest humans can get to divinity through music.

 

Oh let the sun beat down upon my face, stars to fill my dream
I am a traveler of both time and space, to be where I have been
To sit with elders of the gentle race, this world has seldom seen
They talk of days for which they sit and wait and all will be revealed

Talk and song from tongues of lilting grace, whose sounds caress my ear
But not a word I heard could I relate, the story was quite clear
Oh, oh.

Oh, I been flying... mama, there aint no denyin
Ive been flying, aint no denyin, no denyin

All I see turns to brown, as the sun burns the ground
And my eyes fill with sand, as I scan this wasted land
Trying to find, trying to find where Ive been.

Oh, pilot of the storm who leaves no trace, like thoughts inside a dream
Heed the path that led me to that place, yellow desert stream
My shangri-la beneath the summer moon, I will return again
Sure as the dust that floats high and true, when movin through kashmir.

Oh, father of the four winds, fill my sails, across the sea of years
With no provision but an open face, along the straits of fear
Ohh.

When Im on, when Im on my way, yeah
When I see, when I see the way, you stay-yeah

Ooh, yeah-yeah, ooh, yeah-yeah, when Im down...
Ooh, yeah-yeah, ooh, yeah-yeah, well Im down, so down
Ooh, my baby, oooh, my baby, let me take you there

Let me take you there. let me take you there