No Regrets. Is that so?

There are no hair stylists in Pilani(even if there would've been some, I doubt my ability to reach them), there are only barbers. Good barbers or bad barbers. Barbers not by profession rather forced into profession, by caste. A caste that can do nothing else but to trim your hair. We here in Rajasthan name them as Nai. So there are some good ones there are some bad ones, and a few very good ones because they know stuff other than trimming hair. They know something about hair apart from hair styles. Well, I happened to run into one such person in Pilani for a haircut and asked him for the sake of keeping a conversation, "How long are my hair gonna live?" A simple and honest reply was thrown upon me as a bombshell, "They won't last more than 2 to 3 years max." For me, to be honest, that was very disappointing. There are several reasons for it though I've never given them enough attention as I do not know even what colour exactly are my hair but that means I've grown old.

There was a time when I was a kid. Then I entered into my teenage but I missed my past so much and I decided not to part with it. I was still a kid even when I was 18 or 19 or even today maybe, Who knows? I never tried things that boys do. In some other point of reference I did but that was too early and thats where it happened. When I woke up from that I realized that I've got enough time to do that so just forget it and I did. Now here I am writing this blog, putting my fat ass upon the chair like this means a world to me and thinking that I've got no time now. Its all gone in the past. A jump, straight from childhood to adolescence, no formal teenage and I doubt if there would be a stage of adolescence or not. Time is cruel. It makes you cruel. It teaches you to kill. To kill things inside you. Even if you want them to be alive in some corner of your heart but you've to kill them for the so called well being of your own and well being of people around you. But why? Why do we have to start preparing for a miserable time that'll come come after 20 years right from now and make this one miserable too. Well I don't have any answers to this as if I had some, I would surely have gathered enough courage not to follow it. But I am following it. Being a nice boy for everyone around me. Trying to be an ideal for those around me(to tell you the truth, failing terribly). Soon I would be forced into another "Bhedchaal", the bhedchaal of geeks. I've to stick my ass in front of this box for 14 hours a day some useful bucks to satisfy my hunger for the things that I missed during my teenage and in the course of this process missing the days that I actually should be living then. Then another phase, again doing things for the past at the wrong time and like this die one day hungry for some more days so that I could live the whole phase of my life. That's the biggest failure you can imagine of. Its on its way to me. I know its coming, I can see it. I am laughing while writing this as I see something needs to change but I can't as I haven't done it for those 21 years.

In short, I have turned into a big geek. I hate being like this. I want to come out of it but don't have enough energy for that. Now all I can do to satisfy the animal inside me is to justify my position, give some very nice arguments to support it and above all be happy and be ignorant. Thats exactly what I've done, I've been doing and will keep doing.