Jose Mourinho might still be Chelsea's manager had the arrival of Andriy Shevchenko not undermined his relationship with Roman Abramovich. Then again, had a different coach been in charge at Stamford Bridge when the Ukrainian moved there from Milan two years ago, he might have continued scoring the sort of goals that saw him voted European Footballer of the Year in 2004.

On Sunday night Shevchenko will have the chance to settle old scores at the San Siro when the Rossoneri take on their city rivals Internazionale in what will be Mourinho's first Milan derby. It had seemed that Shevchenko would be a substitute — a role that became all too familiar to him during his two unsettled years under Mourinho in west London — but a thigh injury to Marco Borriello means he is almost certain to be in Milan's starting line-up against the Italian champions.

This is the opportunity Shevchenko must have been waiting for since he returned to Milan in the summer. Mourinho, after all, wasted little time in voicing his opinion about Shevchenko's return. "He was like a prince in Milan and at Chelsea our philosophy was different as we had no princes," he said last month. "Everybody needs to work like everybody else and everybody needs to prove he deserves to play."

Shevchenko certainly looked like a prince when he was the main guest of the fashion designer Giorgio Armani during Milan Fashion Week, but the striker, who turns 32 on Monday, refuted allegations that he has been treated any differently to his team-mates at Milan.

"When I was at Chelsea what I missed most was the organisation, the preparation and the atmosphere of this club - lots of little things that are very important," said Shevchenko, who is yet to score for Milan since his return to Italy but has found the net 14 times in 15 Milan derbies. "It's been said that I was treated like a prince, but that is not how it was. Here I had difficult moments but I overcame them with hard work and sacrifice."

The Desert Rose

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I dream of rain
I dream of gardens in the desert sand
I wake in vain
I dream of love as time runs through my hand

I dream of fire
Those dreams that tie two hearts that will never die
And near the flames
The shadows play in the shape of the mans desire

This desert rose
Whose shadow bears the secret promise
This desert flower
No sweet perfume that would torture you more than this

And now she turns
This way she moves in the logic of all my dreams
This fire burns
I realize that nothings as it seems

I dream of rain
I dream of gardens in the desert sand
I wake in vain
I dream of love as time runs through my hand

I dream of rain
I lift my gaze to empty skies above
I close my eyes
The rare perfume is the sweet intoxication of love

I dream of rain
I dream of gardens in the desert sand
I wake in vain
I dream of love as time runs through my hand

Sweet desert rose
Whose shadow bears the secret promise
This desert flower
No sweet perfume that would torture you more than this

Sweet desert rose
This memory of hidden hearts and souls
This desert flower
This rare perfurme is the sweet intoxication of love

Ye Tanhai Ka Aalam...

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Ye tanhaai ka aalam
Aur is par aap ka gham
Ye tanhai ka aalam
Aur is par aap ka gham
Na jeete hain na marte
batao kya karen hum

Let's Do it.

Birds do it, bees do it,
Even educated fleas do it,
Let's do it, let's fall in love.

RISK

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out to others is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas, your dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To hope is to risk despair.
To try is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken,
because the greatest hazard in life is to do nothing.

The person who risks nothing,
does nothing, has nothing, and is nothing.

They may avoid suffering and sorrow,
but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live.

Chained by their attitudes, they are a slave,
they forfeited their freedom.

Only the person who risks can be free

No Regrets. Is that so?

There are no hair stylists in Pilani(even if there would've been some, I doubt my ability to reach them), there are only barbers. Good barbers or bad barbers. Barbers not by profession rather forced into profession, by caste. A caste that can do nothing else but to trim your hair. We here in Rajasthan name them as Nai. So there are some good ones there are some bad ones, and a few very good ones because they know stuff other than trimming hair. They know something about hair apart from hair styles. Well, I happened to run into one such person in Pilani for a haircut and asked him for the sake of keeping a conversation, "How long are my hair gonna live?" A simple and honest reply was thrown upon me as a bombshell, "They won't last more than 2 to 3 years max." For me, to be honest, that was very disappointing. There are several reasons for it though I've never given them enough attention as I do not know even what colour exactly are my hair but that means I've grown old.

There was a time when I was a kid. Then I entered into my teenage but I missed my past so much and I decided not to part with it. I was still a kid even when I was 18 or 19 or even today maybe, Who knows? I never tried things that boys do. In some other point of reference I did but that was too early and thats where it happened. When I woke up from that I realized that I've got enough time to do that so just forget it and I did. Now here I am writing this blog, putting my fat ass upon the chair like this means a world to me and thinking that I've got no time now. Its all gone in the past. A jump, straight from childhood to adolescence, no formal teenage and I doubt if there would be a stage of adolescence or not. Time is cruel. It makes you cruel. It teaches you to kill. To kill things inside you. Even if you want them to be alive in some corner of your heart but you've to kill them for the so called well being of your own and well being of people around you. But why? Why do we have to start preparing for a miserable time that'll come come after 20 years right from now and make this one miserable too. Well I don't have any answers to this as if I had some, I would surely have gathered enough courage not to follow it. But I am following it. Being a nice boy for everyone around me. Trying to be an ideal for those around me(to tell you the truth, failing terribly). Soon I would be forced into another "Bhedchaal", the bhedchaal of geeks. I've to stick my ass in front of this box for 14 hours a day some useful bucks to satisfy my hunger for the things that I missed during my teenage and in the course of this process missing the days that I actually should be living then. Then another phase, again doing things for the past at the wrong time and like this die one day hungry for some more days so that I could live the whole phase of my life. That's the biggest failure you can imagine of. Its on its way to me. I know its coming, I can see it. I am laughing while writing this as I see something needs to change but I can't as I haven't done it for those 21 years.

In short, I have turned into a big geek. I hate being like this. I want to come out of it but don't have enough energy for that. Now all I can do to satisfy the animal inside me is to justify my position, give some very nice arguments to support it and above all be happy and be ignorant. Thats exactly what I've done, I've been doing and will keep doing.

The Easier Way, the Bhagat's Way.

No change, let’s talk about others again. This time the victim being Chetan Bahgat.
People of football might know Inzaghi of Milan. He is biggest opportunistic you may ever see. He hasn’t got those great skills of football, no great control, nothing extraordinary; still he is the top scorer of Champions League. What he's got in abundance is just a nudge or a bit of common sense to know where to be at what time to get a goal. Where does Inzaghi come in picture here then? I think he’s got a twin in India named Chetan Bhagat. IIT, IIM graduate Chetan Bhagat, in my opinion he’s a graduate in psychology as well, he knows exactly where to hit to get a goal in Indian market and he’s done it time and again.
I think we need to think what makes him do that. Is it money? or fame? Whatever it maybe, only he knows it better but lets try to get an honest case study from a common(or way tooo common man's perspective :P). Flashback ----> Serach for the kid "Chetan Bhagat", he surely was bright and studious, young Chetan Bhagat same here. It seems as if being a geek for time long enough to kill one has taken a toll on him. He’s obsessed by it and keeps writing things that hit people who are of the same kind as him in one way or the other.Lets see how he does that in all his "Bestsellers". His first book(don't mind if I miss something as to mention everything is to paste the whole book); how many people are there who study their ass off in schools to get in decent colleges and don’t study that much after getting in there. Even if those who don’t get there know that they’ve done hard work in studies that they are never going to do again. Idea! Hit it. Write a book on college friends like these people who love to be lazy in college. Who think they are someone like Ryan, bright, suffering due to the system and lack of oppurtunities, someone like Hari, always right and trying to mentor their friends and having a secret crush on a girl, some one like Alok, tense due to economic troubles back home. All of them trying to forget their misery through alcohol. Help me if I’ve missed a single college student of India. All of them will be touched. If so happens, he’s through. Those who are out of college will read it as to refresh their memories of college. Add to it, some real sex scenes in the book, for people like me who read books only for them. He’s through. Through to the bestsellers list. Is that something like Inzaghi.No! Not Yet(Inzaghi is a legend in Milan, so Chetan has got more ground to catch up) Wait for the next one.
Lets try to break into Chetan's mind for the second book he has written. Again, capture the youth. Working people this time. Frustrated bunch. Underpaid, inferior and some routine problems of life. But this time our dear Chetan goes one step ahead. He gets his character into the story. After all that was what he wanted. He always wanted to be famous, heroic. Unfortunately for him, he chose academics as the means to achieve all these, which according to me is totally impossible. Believe me, I’ve been through this, most of you must’ve been through this one time or other. Add to the story the frustration of Vroom on being an Indian, the biggest pick of the book being “A US burger boy earns more than me in two hours while I’ve to listen to 200 calls the whole night for it.” If you didn’t like it, “I’ve to pay 50,000 bucks just to get membership of this disco.” Quite a lot of us would’ve got emotional on that. Someone losing a girlfriend due to money. The pain of seeing the girl you love get engaged. Failure in the job you like and being exploited all this stuff. Don’t you stop here. This time god comes to the rescue. Wow! What he does? Gives a speech that is worse than that of Sonia Gandhi speaking in hindi. Come on man he’s god he knows stuff and he knows things that would enlighten everything on earth if he says them. All the gurus in India have been created by him who can make you do anything by their power of "pravachans" and god, he messed it, there is some real piece of crap written over there. Then a perfect hindi film ending, riding bike on the divider, kissing girlfriend on the road. Come on dear, don’t be kid Chetan. You gotta be joking right.You seem to be in such haste to finish that book. I think he got some deadline for the climax.
Once again then. The third one. Students…. Done, Working people……..done, people struggling to get a job, struggling to fit into life, they’re left. Get on to them. People who want to be the richest man on earth. Come on man, Dheerubhai was illiterate and he raised this whole big empire, why can’t we do that? I’ve heard this from at least 50 people myself. What about Chetan who gets a thousand of mails everyday (including some suicide notes too). This time, he gets his wife into action too as she was complaining a lot after his last book for not being starred in that. Add to that the hottest topic among youth (how can he miss it? He’s such a keen observer) ORKUT. On the very first page he mentions a list of bollywood people he knows. Good for you. Anyway, back to the book, still one major category of youth is going unnoticed. People like me, frustrated on the condition of sports in India. Wow that really hurt me. Still there are some people like me who always feel that they’re better off the underdogs in everything , people like Omi. Then comes the dream of every studios guy in the world. A dream student, and a dream time with her in her her room. on her roof.... (I should stop dreaming here). How many people get rewarded like that for studying? I’m so jealous. Catch it, get it into the book. Then comes another typical Indian trait, the fate. It never favors you and so was the case of our heroes. Poor chaps. Kismat ke sataye huye  And here comes Chetan flying from Hong Kong to Ahemdabad to sort out all the troubles of this guy within a night and fly back by the first flight in the morning. You are a genius man. I would like to try kill me someday and mail you. You’re a genius(I'm not so sure about that though). But is that someone who resembles Inzaghi? Don't tell me. Think about it.
The best thing about him. He writes off his critics on the very first page of his book. “I don’t want to be the most admired writers of India; I want to be the most loved writer of India.” My way of putting that is, I want to be like a superman in every Indian’s heart who can sort out every problem within seconds. And about being the most admired writers; even if you write you’re ass off, you won’t be.

Coming Back to Life.............. (I'm not)

Where were you when I was burned and broken
While the days slipped by from my window watching
Where were you when I was hurt and I was helpless
Because the things you say and the things you do surround me
While you were hanging yourself on someone elses words
Dying to believe in what you heard
I was staring straight into the shining sun

Lost in thought and lost in time
While the seeds of live and the seeds of change were planted

Outside the rain fell dark and slow
While I pondered on this dangerous but
I took a heavenly ride through one silence
I knew the moment had arrived
For killing the past and coming back to life

I took a heavenly ride trough our silence
I knew the waiting had begin
And headed straight... into the shining sun

Le Chal Wahan

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Main bhi tanha hoon tu bhi hai tanha kahin
Main adhoori yahan tu adhhoora kahin
Ek aahat si hoti hai mujhko yahan
Tu kahan hai kahan hai kahan hai kahan
Mujhe le chal tu le chal tu le chal wahan
Jahan tak aasman aasman aasman
Ho mohabbat ki duniya nasheman jahan
Mujhe le chal tu le chal tu le chal wahan

Nothing is Worse than being Ordinary.