Realization

when do you realize the ground is so hard hitting it will break your bone
when do you realize the world is so big and you're just not the one

when do you realize nothing that exists here is not your choice
when do you realize the day you've been waiting to arrive is past and you didn't rejoice

when do you realize there's not a place on earth with enough love to fill your heart
when do you realize it's all a game and you did not live in it to play a part

when do you realize those blues eyes are just to look at from distance
when do you realize you're the one you once looked at with disgrace

when do you realize you're not the one that has a single thing in control
living in a shell too hard to break, too afraid to break it, too afraid to face the world

Time

I loved the time when people did not have Cell phones. When they could not text others and drop a bomb shell in it.

I loved the time when their was no phone, people had to actually face you or pick up a pen t to give you shit.

I loved the time when there was no internet. People had to gather the courage to pick a pen to write things they didn't have balls to tell you in person.

I loved the time when there was no paper, people had to speak shit they can easily lie about in writing. Your pen can lie a lot and so can your mouth. Eyes seldom give you the liberty, it's a feedback mechanism enforced by the heavens which would not allow you to blurt out nonsense and a make monkey out of the other person thanks to your hypocrisy.

I loved the time when there was no language, people didn't have to go through the inconvenience of necessity to praise about things they didn't think were good enough.

I loved the time when there were no humans and no society. Your actions could easily be wrapped up in the foil of beastliness.

I loved the time when there were no dreams, it would save you the trouble of disappointments and nightmares.

I loved the time when there was no life. Everything would have been so quiet and simple.

Barclays Premier League

One of the better sports commercials I've come across:

The dives, the swerves, the slides, the footwork, the woodwork, the hair, the boots, the back heal, the back flick, the back four, the reds, the blues and the yellows, the chip in the corner, the curler, the corker, the pride, the passion, the Game.

POOR POOL

Nuff Said :)

Confused!! Utterly Confused.

Removed for the time being.

BRB in a months time.

Who's the goodbye guy??

"Goodbyes are not for me!!" what a wonderful phrase to hear on TV. What a shitty phrase to say when you have to!!

Its bye bye time and want to write about it. Wait!!!! Did I just admit that? So dumb of me!!

Throughout my life I've tried not to do what everyone wants to do(or rather pretend to!!); the consequences; well lets not talk about them. So no harm to admit that I want to do something that every one leaving the campus forever wants to do(for this time only). Apparently it my last night as on campus BITS student. No big deal. The place won't miss me(No player is bigger than the team). I did what I am best at, being nothing. I did what I am best at, meeting some really nice people. I did what I am best at, not meeting majority of the people!! :)

Feel bad that these are the last days with some really really wonderful people. God knows how am I going to manage without them!! Its getting senti and cold as the night progresses and I've just switched the heat to maximum. I don't want to be sentimental. It sucks, I don't want to be a girl and cry about it or even talk about it. Am a man and I can handle it(or at least can say I can). I just need somebody to hug. I am hugging the pillow but it won't hug back. Damn it ...

Just want to Thank the people who mattered when it mattered. Who listened when they were called upon and most importantly spoke when they were or weren't called upon (Listening is the only thing I guess I am good at and I think you guys did me huge favours by letting me use it).

Who said Yes to most of the ideas I proposed. Who cursed people I hated. Who loved people I loved. Who took my advice. Who advised others to seek my advice. Who declared me wise ass. Who were pissed off me being a wise ass. Who said I was pretending to be a wise ass. Who told me I wasn't a wise ass. Who woke me up in the morning. Who kept me up at night. Who came in dreams. Who come in dreams. Who made me hate an entire kind of people. Who reassured me to continue hating an entire kind of people. Who made me love an(make that two) entire state(s) of people. Who told me "launda and laundiya" are UP bhasha words. Who told me "gussa" is female not male. Who proved me wrong. Who thought I was right. Who confided in me. Who confided in every other person they met. Who told me about their crushes. Who asked me about my crushes. Who made fun of my crushes. Who added hypothetical crushes. Who told me "nyone wud do" for being their crush. Who told me I was a loser. Who proved to me I was a loser. Who made me quit Jhankar(actually to her, I am not thankful. But she deserves a mention. I might not hate anybody on earth more than her). Who made Jhankar bearable. Who competed with me for chapattis. Who wud never get up to fetch me a chapati. Who would drink an entire bottle of sauce. Who wud freak out in exams and break three keyboards. Who wud lie on bed with their feet up the wall. Who wud say I wud make a gud wife if I were a girl. Who wrote me my only testimonial for Orkut. Who made me delete my Orkut. Who gave me gmail invite. Who gave me wave invite. Who ragged me. Who didn't rag me. Who got ragged by me(oh yeah!!). Who said what they wanted to. Who said what I wanted to listen(Extra Thanks for this one). Who cried in front of me. Who made me cry when I was alone. Who make me cry when I am alone. Who pretended to be my friends. Who used me. Who pretended to be too naive. Who were too naive. Who love me. Who hate me(Wait NO THANKS, Rather F*** Y**). Who will love me. Who will miss me.

I can carry on like that for ages you know. The more I write the more I recollect. Of all my life the day which I can remember most clearly is my first day at this place and it seems like yesterday. Ne ways, if friends are not included then I am pretty happy to leave this place. The most inefficient years of my life are now my past.

Never wanted to write this much. Just thought will write "I don't want to write about bye byes" but as it turns out, I've failed in the one last thing I've so desperately hung upon for the last 3.5 years. I can't pretend this time I don't want what everyone wants.

Bye Bye

p.s. To those who can understand it. I said you won't have any regrets after four year when you leave this place about not doing one particular thing. I am terribly sorry if I was wrong(can't really make out whether I was wrong). I was just being supportive.

It's not time that is passing by.....

I am usually surprised when people say, ‘I have no regrets in life.’ Come on, I think, I can’t be the only one whose life seems so full of regrets. Hopefully not major ones, but minor ones - sure, doesn’t everyone have those regrets? Of not being as good as you’d like at music, sports and arts; of being unable to prioritize what really mattered when it mattered; of getting into bad relationships; of making wrong career choices etc. etc. The magic, I think, is in accepting that it is OK to have regrets; it is OK to feel lonely; it is OK to feel depressed at times- as long as you feel you are leading a happy, productive life overall. I think these experiences of pain and conflict make you a richer, deeper person; and sadness gives an interesting, intelligent dimension to your life.

I recall reading Arundhati Roy’s ‘God of Small Things’

‘If you're happy in a dream, Ammu, does that count?’ Estha asked.

‘Does what count?’

‘The happiness - does it count?’

Wow man- what sadness! Even for born cynics like me, it struck a chord. You are really starved for happiness when you have to search for it in your dreams. Or Ruskin Bond’s wonderful: ‘It’s not time that is passing by-it’s you and I.’